Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Day 65: The Weather - According to my Son


My Project: 365 Creative Writing Prompts

Day 65: The Weather - According to my Son

A few days ago, I had to go out. Even though it was December and presumably cold, before going out I asked my son “Is it cold out there?”

Heaven knows why I asked because I never get an accurate response. Dieter is one of those people who is completely unaffected by the cold. It must be pretty bad before he wears a coat and he never ever wears a hat or a scarf. So really, I don’t know why I bothered checking with him.

When Dieter says it’s nice, that means that I need a light sweater. When he says it’s a little chilly, a warmer sweater is needed. When he says it’s cold, I better bundle up in a coat, scarf, hat, and gloves. And when he says that it’s very cold, that means it’s freezing the balls off a brass monkey.

In summer, his temperature assessment is equally deceiving. When he says that it’s a little chilly, it’s actually quite nice. The kind of day that I can go out in a short-sleeved shirt. When he says it’s warm, that’s my cue to reach for something sleeveless. When he says it’s very warm, that means it’s hot. I can handle the heat up to 28 degrees C (86 degrees F) comfortably, but anything above that is too hot. So, when Dieter says it’s hot, that means outside the birds are falling out of the trees.

I’ll bet now you’re wondering how he describes wind and rain. So, I’ll tell you. When Dieter says, it’s okay, that means there’s a bit of a breeze. When he says there a bit of a breeze, it’s actually quite windy. And when he says it’s windy, there’s a storm going on. Now when he says that it’s very windy ... well, wherever you’re going you’re in danger of being airborne.

As for rain, he certainly can’t be trusted. It’s misty means it’s drizzling. It’s drizzling means it’s raining. It’s raining means it’s pouring. And when he says it’s raining hard there’s practically a hurricane going on.

My weather app on my phone is equally unreliable.
For instance. For today my phone said that it was 12 deg C (54 deg F). I’m sure it was 12/54 degrees somewhere, but it wasn’t in Toronto.

There have been days that the app says that 75% chance of rain is expected and there’s not a drop of water to be seen. Last winter the app predicted 6 cm of snow (a little more than 2 inches) and we got nothing than a light dusting.

Fortunately, even though my son fails to give me an accurate description of the weather and my phone app is frequently wrong, I can always rely on my cats.

When they groom themselves and they wipe a paw behind their ears ... it’s gonna rain. When the wiping involves a triple action, it’s gonna come down in buckets.
On the other hand, if they claw at the furniture or carpets, wind is expected. And believe me, it never fails.




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